My Nan-nan died this morning at about 9 o'clock. I found out this evening. In the end it was quite quick. They gave her morphine for the first time yesterday morphine, up until then she'd only been letting them give her paracetemols, so she was pretty aware until 24 hours before she died. All her children were with towards the end, though my Mum left just before she died and sat in the corridor with my cousin. The funerals is on monday and I'm dreading it.

I tried to do lots of things today. I wanted to clean, and finish making my scrapbook. I thought about making the new blinds for the living room I even thought about finishing painting the bedroom (I painted 3 walls over a year ago, but never got around to painting the 4th).

I should have done some work on the Shirokuma website. I've done the basic layout, and redrawn the paw logo to make it the correct shape (this took hours). I know what pages I need, and I've started working on the images to make them tie in with the page. But everytime I start working on anything more I end up staring at the screen for a while, changing a few things, changing them back, staring a bit more, then shutting it down again.

I've been doing very well keeping away from biscuits. But today I've sat and eaten almost a whole packet of bourbons.

I feel like I could go to bed and cry and sleep for a week.

I've injured myself.

Wednesday afternoon I'd got a nagging pain in the lower left hand side of my belly. Uncomfortable but not too bad. By Thursday dinner time it was sore. By Thursday night it hurt... a lot. I was beginning to panic slightly, trying to figure out what is in that bit of my body, lower intestines, could be a hernia, ovaries, could be nasty.

So this morning I woke up early after a rotten, restless, painful sleep and phoned into work sick, then made an appointment for the doctors. Nice doctor lady examined me and told me she thinks it's probably groin strain, (no dodgy jokes) I must've done it at work somehow. So I've to rest for a few days and take pain killers, and hopefully it'll fix itself in a few days.

So my restful day has involved making myself a scrapbook. Last week I cleared a cupboard which was full of junk and games and papers and bills. The bills have all been neatly organised into a folder, lots of games and junk were thrown away and lots of memorable junk was put into a plastic bag until I today when I figured out a better way of keeping it all.

I've still not finished, but I've now got a very simple scrapbook with all the things I've accumulated over the years (cartoons, cards, tickets, exam results, certificates, loads) which has never had anywhere to live other than various plastic bags.

So I'm getting all the paper junk sorted... now just for the 3d junk. Maybe I'll take pictures of things, stick them in the scrap book, then I can bin/sell the actual objects. That wil be another day though.

Oh the badge machine is great by the way. I made some Shirokuma paw badges last night which everyone seemed to love. I've not got any left anyway. I wasn't happy with them though, I need to work out better how big the images can be so that they don't curl around the edges. It's all good fun though.

Busy busy busy. In no particular order:

Sunday I drove up to Manchester to pick up Porl, spent a lovely lazy day around at Sarah and Dave's house. We read the paper, wandered to the supermarket and cooked a lovely Sunday Roast. I think Dave was a bit disturbed by my gleeful washing of the chicken (dead baby) and then carving/pulling apart of it once it was cooked. I never have believed in being a stereotypical vegetarian.

Finally got my car through its MOT, took 3 visits to the garage, and too much money, but it's done and safe and will see me through the winter, after then it's being sold. It's a lovely little car, a Citroen AX GT, it's never given me any trouble (except for MOT time) but the GT bit means the insurance is too expensive for my little pockets. In fact, the MOT, insurance, and tax added together cost more than the value of the car. So after winter it's time for it to go, and I hope some boy-racer fool will buy it off me.

I've started knitting things. it's the first time I've tried knitting anything since I was 7 and had chicken pox, I made a jumper. (Truthfully I did an arm and some straight bits on a jumper and my mum did the rest.) I'm making myself a fuzzy red scarf with 1 strand of red double knit and 1 of red eyelash yarn, using some lovely chunky 7mm needles. They're yellow too which is a bonus. I've done about 2 foot so far and I've still got the same number of stitches that I started with. Hurrah! I also sent off for a sock knitting starter pack from Web of Wool you get 1 ball of opal yarn of your choice, 5 birch dpns, a sock pattern, a tapestry needle and some stitch markers. I also got some black and silver shoelaces for some reason, I'm not sure if that was an accident though. So I don't know how to knit in the round, and I'm a bit hazey on increasing and decreasing and even purling, so socks might be throwing myself in at the deep end, but I'm sure I'll cope.

We've also had a meeting with the Mortgage Adviser, gave her all the details of what we need. I'll not go into details, but it's not a simple one. So we've left it with her and she's going to get back to us when she's got her head around it all. But hopefully by the end of the week we should have a mortgage and life will be easier. More expensive, but easier. Then once this house is bought we can start thinking about getting it ship shape, selling it and moving to Manchester.

My badge machine will be arriving tomorrow, at last! It actually arrived today but porl didn't have any money to pay the £34 import duty. But I can't play with it too much because I have to get some work done on Mark/Shirokuma's website. I should really be doing it tonight, but my mind isn't on the task at all.

My Nan-nan has gone into hospital for 2-3 weeks. She keeps saying it's respite, we keep saying it's respite, but we all know she's gone in there to die really. She's probably in a lot of pain, but she won't admit it. She has admitted she's feeling nauseous, so they're now treating that. The doctors gave her 4 months to live, that was nearly 2 years ago. A doctor friend of ours said if it was anyone else they'd give her 2 weeks to live, that was 3 weeks ago. She's getting grouchier, but she's still got her sense of humour. She keeps referring to her hugely swollen liver as her twins, and explaining that she can't be a Girl Guide anymore because when they operated 2 years ago she lost her belly button (nowhere to put the flags when she's walking in parade now). Whenever anyone mentions death she tells them she's going to live to be 100, but she knows really. She's a strong lady who I love to bits, and I don't want her to give up, but I wish she could swallow her pride a bit.

It's taken me about an hour to write that last paragraph. These entries although always infrequent are getting harder to write. Don't be surprised if I'm not around much over the next few weeks

Been a busy girl, back at work, doing courses, I know all basic Food Hygiene now, so I can work in kitchens if I wish. I did thinking about failing on purpose in the hope I wouldn't have to cook at work, but I doubt it'd work and I'd have to do the course again.

Anyhow, got back from work and started cleaning the house (kitchen especially). I'm on my own this weekend, Porl's gone up to Manchester to meet Marky Boy, and also Dave from Valentine Records. Something strange is in the offing and I'm all curious, we've been guessing wildly but I expect we're miles off the mark. I'm sure I'll find out soon.

Today autumn has arrived, it's chucked it down all day. Luckily I bought myself a winter coat yesterday, maybe that brought on winter though. It's lovely though. Raspberry coloured corderoy-ish material, with a lovely silky soft cream fur lining. Not everyone was as prepared for winter as me though. I felt very strange walking down the street all snuggly warm in my new coat and my wooly hat, when other people were still walking around in shorts and t-shirts.

I've been browsing estate agents online looking at houses in Manchester and Stockport. We've got to buy this house before we can think about moving there, but at least I'm getting ideas. I did see a great house with 4 bedrooms, 2 reception rooms and a study which would be great. Crafty room for me, studio for Porl, and plenty of spare bedrooms for friends. It's in Gatley, which is on the main trainline between Sheffield and Manchester and it was affordable. Which all added together makes me think that maybe Gatley isn't such a great area to live. Wherever we end up though I think what we get for this house will set us up with something pretty nice in a different part of the country.

I should've posted this days ago, but Sarah has a great write up and pictures from last weekend. Dave has given the night the one, two, three, write-ups that it deserves.

I'm a silly girl. I did do all the photos when I got back from the pub last night. I was up until 2:30 doing all the photos. But I forgot to do a link on here for them. Daft girl!


more photos

Friday night was great. All the bands were great, Porl seemed to end up doing the sound upstairs, which kept him very busy and very happy. I wandered around taking lots of pictures, chatting to random people, drinking beer and sucking limes (literally... they were in the beer and they're nice.) Met lots of lovely people, instantly forgot their names, but I never expected anything else.

Highlights of the night; seeing lots of townie girls dancing to "Moonlight in the Afternoon" when Dave played the single upstairs, Purple Jennie appearing as if by magic from London, although I was a little tipsy by then so didn't talk to her much, seeing the queues of people waiting to get into the place, It Was Packed! the joy on people's faces when I was giving out the bowls of sweeties, and last but certainly not least Marks set, it went down very well, although probably not what people were expecting, great fun though. Oh and lastly going for a lovely curry and more beer at 4 in the morning.

Saturday involved lugging lots of things around to different places, Porl, Robin and Dave had to carry huge bass bins and a PA around, so Porl really hurts today. I was just carrying lights and boxes but I'm still sore. After the lugging around we went to a party at someone elses house. I think they were all Kiwi's but to be honest I was that tired by then I could have been hallucinating. They had lovely dip though.

We got back here at about 10, had bacon butties and went to bed. I've been sleeping on an off all day today and I'm still knackered. I'll post the piccies when I get back, got to nip to the pub and say bye bye to a mate who's heading back to Poland tomorrow.

I think I'm getting a cold. This is not good. I always seem to get ill just before big nights out. Please please please let me not be ill.

Just finished re-arranging the living room again. I don't think I'll ever be happy with the layout, we just need a bigger house.

Lemsip and bed is in order now.

Why does my weather pixie never resemble what's actually going on outside?
Apparently it should be raining. It was this morning, but it looks perfectly fine outside now.

Speaking of weather, much as I love summer I'm glad the nights are drawing in again. I like it when it goes dark at about 8 or 9 o' clock. We've got the heating back on, and I'm trying to get the living room cosy and organised for when we can have the coal fire going. Oh how I love my real fire!

I'm actually getting round to putting things in boxes to clear away, although I think I've missed the car boot sales for this year. Oh well, I'll get everything sorted for next year. I need to sort the spare room out too, I think we might end up with a lodger again, so it can no longer be a storage room.

Right back to the tidying, Porl needs my PC for burning CD's for his DJ set tomorrow night, we might even figure out how to print CD covers with the playlists on! Woohoo aren't we clever!

I nearly forgot the important bit.

So who's up for a great night out on Friday then?

It's in Manchester and it's FREE!
There's 7 bands, 4 dj's and loads of fun.
Get to the Font bar on Friday 9pm.

Again, it's FREE! it'll be ace! (especially Shirokuma).
More details here.

Get there early cos there's a strong chance it'll be full.

Another week off work for holidays. Last time I had holidays I wrote a list on here, I successfully accomplished 4 of the 7 tasks ( I did loads of other things instead though, like buy paint, and a tumble dryer, and clean the house loads and make roman blinds, and 2 crochets bags, and a lovely necklace).
Lets see if I can do any better this time.

1. arrange a mortgage (carried over from last time)
   
2. re-organise the front room (which includes sorting all my crafty stash, and chucking loads of junk away)
   
3. get porl a passport
   
4. sort out all my bills/paperwork etc
   
5. claim back my tax
   
6. get the car MOT'd and insured
   
7. possibly finish making the roman blinds, and make some cushion covers
   
8. design a website for Shirokuma ( I really want to do my own though!)
   

If I can accomplish all that I'll be so happy, and I'll have done things I've been putting off for ages.

As well as this on Friday we'll be in Manchester for Marky Boy's gig. Porl and I went up to Manchester yesterday as F&H had got Mark some rehearsal space. So they were running through what they were going to do, Porl is accompanying Mark in the silliness by playing bass. It's all looking good. I went for a bit of a wander around Manchester because we seemed to be in "the material quarter". I found a couple of great material shops, one of which sold oddments by weight, so I picked up some Powerpuff girls printed material. I think it was oddments of bedding. Porl wants me to make some cushions for in here with it. The material shop had a craft shop attatched to it, so I got a bead board, and some more beading thread, some silicon glue (I will make marble magnets one day) and a HUGE (well, 10mm) crochet hook. Just one street in Manchester made me so happy, I know there's a bead shop at Afflecks Palace too which I've still got to visit. I want to live in Manchester now.

The car wasn't a happy bunny on it's way to Manchester and back though, so it's been booked into the garage for Friday. The MOT is due and I think either a wheel is out of shape or needs realigning, either way I get a horrid juddering once I get to 50mph making it impossible to drive past that speed. Not good on the motorway. So we left all the kit at Marks and we're getting the train up on Friday. I'll have to make a trip to Marks in the car another time to pick the stuff up. *sigh* Might have to look around more material shops then.

I'm just sat here, feeling very contentetededed (never sure when to end that word). Outside the clouds are gorgeous salmon pink mares tails, with vivid blue sky behind them. I'm watching the cricket highlights of the final test between England and South Africa we won the test today between England and South Africa, which means we've drawn the series. It's been a good summer, I thought I'd done very little, but we've had a lot of fun events happen. I've had a lot of fun relaxing days in beer gardens with friends, a good camping trip, a trip to spain, fun weekends in, and good nights out. I've had silliness, music, sunshine, and sunburn. I've seen my brother get married, which was one of the happiest days of my life. I've also been to my Grandad's funeral after months of hearing about him slowly deteriorate, my Nan-nan is still hanging on, but I doubt she'll be here much longer. I've still not really come to terms with my Grandad's death, my Nan-nan's will be even harder to deal with. I wish I lived nearer my family, the distance does make me value them all the more though.

So it's been a summer of mostly highs, with the occasional low point. It's one I'd like to remember as a whole though.

I've been off work for a fortnight, on holiday, loads has happened (wedding, cleaning, getting extra work, buying domestic items, made tons off stuff, still not got the badge machine though.) Pictures for all of these should appear soon, however this is what I'm up to right now.
Ormskirk Nights

Oh we're recording music too.