Manic Kitty

My Nan-nan died this morning at about 9 o'clock. I found out this evening. In the end it was quite quick. They gave her morphine for the first time yesterday morphine, up until then she'd only been letting them give her paracetemols, so she was pretty aware until 24 hours before she died. All her children were with towards the end, though my Mum left just before she died and sat in the corridor with my cousin. The funerals is on monday and I'm dreading it.

I tried to do lots of things today. I wanted to clean, and finish making my scrapbook. I thought about making the new blinds for the living room I even thought about finishing painting the bedroom (I painted 3 walls over a year ago, but never got around to painting the 4th).

I should have done some work on the Shirokuma website. I've done the basic layout, and redrawn the paw logo to make it the correct shape (this took hours). I know what pages I need, and I've started working on the images to make them tie in with the page. But everytime I start working on anything more I end up staring at the screen for a while, changing a few things, changing them back, staring a bit more, then shutting it down again.

I've been doing very well keeping away from biscuits. But today I've sat and eaten almost a whole packet of bourbons.

I feel like I could go to bed and cry and sleep for a week.